If you aren't making mistakes you probably aren't trying hard enough. And the biggest mistakes often yield the biggest lessons.
Many of us have heard from friends or family or a colleague, " don't dwell in the past." especially after something life changing or bad has happened to us. While I agree the past is not a place you want to hang out in for an extended period of time, it is a place to find answers. Reflecting on past errors in a productive way is the only way to learn from them.
Sure a pity party for a day to two is ok, I had mine. I needed to face my feelings. I was hurt and vulnerable and angry. But the good news is I didn't have a pity party hangover! I took control of the situation and maintained my spirits. I knew I could get through this tough time by taking care of myself, reaching out to others and taking the opportunity to rethink my goals, what I wanted for myself and rediscover what makes me happy.
Reflective thinking allowed me to process what happened and improve myself afterward. By examining what worked and what didn't I was able to mine the best take-aways from losing my job, my successes and failures, and use that knowledge to push myself forward. I am always trying to be better.
1.Review.
I looked back on what I accomplished and where my time was spent and where I made mistakes. After all, it was me who lost her job, and I needed to take responsibility for that. I wasn't going to move on unless I knew where I messed up today. So I asked myself. Where did I come up short? Where did I come up strong? How was I showing up? I made a list of everything that stood out. I celebrated the wins and noted the losses
2. Reflect.
I had to digest what I had done, good and bad. Taking time to contemplate and examine every item on my list in more detail, with a single goal ~ to learn from each experience.
So I asked myself more questions. What plans worked? What decisions provided good results? What decisions ended up being wrong? If I were to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, what would I do differently and why? Thinking deeply today to prevent my tomorrows from falling into the same traps as yesterdays was the only way I was going to find the lessons.
3. Recover.
When things don't go as planned, I need time to recover. I have made plenty of mistakes. I have taken risks that didn't pan out, cost me emotionally, financially and physically. Recovery time brings closure. Letting myself feel bad in my short pity party motivated me to fix what I could fix, and some of it, I just had to let go. It freed me up to move forward. An amazing friend said to me, " with every look at the past, always keep an eye toward to future." "The sun will come up tomorrow", he said. He was right, because it helped me recover effectively without wallowing at my very own pity party.
4. Rearrange.
So now I had to get after it. I had to examine what went wrong to reveal where I lost sight of what was important. Stuck in my standards and ideals of how I think things should be for not just myself but everyone around me, I wasn't present to my values and principles and what was really important to me. After a good hour with my coach, I hit the pause button. I had to feel the impact of what had come about for me. I was pushing and pushing forward in a direction I shouldn't be going.
5. Recharge.
I learned a lot in that hour. It revealed a part of me I didn't realize was showing up, and I didn't like it - at all! I wasn't aware I was behaving in a way that made others feel inadequate. I was coming off as superior. How awful! I suddenly felt ashamed and humiliated, and knew I had to clean up those messes I had created to get complete with the loss of my job and other relationships. Even though I recognized I didn't do anything wrong or bad, I wasn't the only one going through a tough time. My former boss faced a hard choice and it wasn't easy for him to let me go. I had to step back and see where he helped me along the way, giving me a chance to try something new, that ultimately didn't work.
People will tell you, I have a tendency to over think things, and let my mind rule me. But I believe reflective thinking is important to unlocking the door to growth. It expands your thinking and inspires you to continue improving. It keeps you progressing as an individual and as a leader. It guarantees your future will be better than your past.
So I say. Go ahead and review, reflect, recover, rearrange, and recharge on your mistakes, just long enough to let them shape your future in positive ways!! Discovering the steps you can take to avoid repeated mistakes will invigorate you. The time of reflection generates excitement. It is a chance to brainstorm and invent new possibilities for the future and look for ways to put new plans into action. For me, in the 8 Weeks of Lessons, I found fulfillment and creativity.
To all of my family and friends and past colleagues, thank you for your support while I continue to grow, creating my future. I am EMPLOYED again!